How to Survive Moving Back In With Your Parents 101
Times are tough, everything is too expensive, and the whole world is on fire so you are put in a position to move back in with you parents. It ain’t easy but I’m here to help.
Recently I have moved back in with my mom and her husband. I haven’t lived with my mom in over five years but paying rent while living alone in this economy is basically impossible and she has a house that she lives in for only part of the year so here I am. I have moved to Arizona, leaving my entire life in Colorado behind and I’m not gonna lie it kind of sucks. It sucks because it feels like failing, like I couldn’t cut it on my own and that’s how a lot of people feel that are faced with having to move back home. US Census data from Novemeber 2023 reports, one-in-three adults between the ages of 18 and 34 still live with their parents. Of course this trend has been expected to decline or plateau but it has been steadily increasing as cost of living increases (duh.)
So, if like so many of us, you are looking down the barrel of cohabitation with your parents, regardless of your relationship, here are a few tips for maintaining your sanity 🙃
Establish boundaries or even rules if necessary before moving in. If you or your parents have expectations that go undiscussed then you are setting yourselves up for disappointment. So talk to them! Let them know that you expect to come and go as you please without explanation. You are an adult, that is a perfectly reasonable boundary. To play devil’s advocate, your parent might argue that they just want to know where you’re going or who you’re going with for your safety. Find a happy medium! Or lie! If it’s not their business, it’s not their business.
This is also about establishing boundaries but in a physical way that can protect your space and privacy when you’re not around. If the space you’re staying in doesn’t already have a lock then add one! Some parents by dint of being parents tend to be annoying, so if they take issue with you changing out your doorknob consider having locks on things like your closet, dresser, or nightstand. A good option for this is a magnetic lock like this one from Amazon so you can’t see the locking mechanism and therefore don’t appear to be hiding anything.
My personal space and environment is very important to me and I think it’s especially important when you are living in someone else’s house. Make your room your own. I spend most of my time in my room so I want it to reflect me and what makes me feel good. Put up art, have your stuff out, and treat it like it’s yours.
Now depending on your relationship with your parents this might not be relevant so apply as needed. Regardless, I still think it’s important to have safeguards in place. For example, my space is slightly detached from the main house but doesn’t have a cooking or kitchen space so having a mini fridge and a little snack area was important to me. I don’t want to have to go into the house every time I want a diet coke. So keep your basics close by for those times when leaving your room feels like a chore.
I don’t mean this in a mean or manipulative way at all. I simply mean that if your parents let you move back in it’s hopefully because they enjoy being your parent. So if they are going to the store and ask if you want something, tell them what you want. If they cook for you, eat it. If they are taking away some kind of burden, let them. Try to adopt the mindset that if they didn’t want to, they wouldn’t offer.
That being said, help out around the house. This should go without saying but clean up after yourself. If it’s not an expectation of you being able to live there, do it anyway just to be nice and show your appreciation. Don’t be an ungrateful assh*le.
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